Ideas for Healing from Trauma

All people experience various degrees of trauma in their lives. Trauma can hit us expectedly or unexpectedly. We all react differently to trauma. We may react differently than we anticipate. 

When I lost my son, the world as I knew it was completely shattered. I did not think I would ever be the same. And I am not. But that is okay. Through the shattered parts of our lives, the light shines through. These are some things that helped me that I hope may be helpful for you with your trauma as well. 

Accept your emotions. Accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. Allow time to process them. Then, when you are able, let the heavy emotions go. Give them to something higher than you. This may be mother earth, the universe, a supreme being, an ancestor who has passed away, etc. Let go of the heavy emotions because they don’t serve you and they take away energy you need to heal. 

Create boundaries. This is critical to protect yourself to help and begin to process your trauma. Boundaries may include minimizing interaction with those who are not able to be helpful to you. How do you know who these people are? May I suggest that when you leave an interaction with someone and you feel worse about yourself, or confused, that may not have been a helpful/healthy interaction for you. It does not mean that person is “bad” or even “toxic”, but it does mean that they may have less ability to aid in your healing journey.

Challenge unhelpful thoughts. Trauma can change the way you think about yourself, others, and the world. You may notice thoughts like "I'm not safe anywhere," "It was my fault," "I can't trust anyone," or "I'm broken." These thoughts are common after trauma but are not always accurate.  Write down the upsetting thought and ask yourself the following questions: What is the evidence for and against this thought? Is there another way to look at the situation? What would I say to a friend who had this thought? Replace the thought with a more balanced one (e.g., "Bad things happened to me, but I am taking steps to heal"). 

Connect to yourself. Mindfulness and meditation techniques can help you do this. Focus your attention on the present moment, what you see, hear, and feel right now, rather than replaying the past or worrying about the future. Physical activity, improving sleep, and proper nutrition are important. 

Connect to others. Find your tribe, the safe people who are healing to your soul. The ones who are able to listen without judgement, be kind to you, and require little or nothing from you. If you don’t have a tribe like this, keep looking. Consider joining a support group, starting therapy, even joining a group/club with something that used to interest you. Find your tribe. While trauma is something that can disconnect you, it is also a powerful way to connect. Terms such as trauma bond are a real thing. When you are forced to connect to another human, or humans, you create strong bonds. 

Let it be. Let the trauma be. Try to avoid ruminating on how you could have avoided it. Trauma is very powerful but ruminating about past traumas or potential future ones sabotages your present moment and ability to be happy. As the Dalai Lama said "There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” Bad things happen, but trying to blame yourself, or others, is not helpful afterwards. Let it be. 

When to Reach Out for More Help:

Recovery from trauma is not a straight line. Some days will be harder than others. But please contact your provider or seek immediate help if you notice:

• New or increasing thoughts of suicide or self-harm

• Loss of interest in things you typically enjoy doing

• Difficulty caring for yourself — such as not eating, not showering, or not getting out of bed

• Feeling unable to keep yourself safe

• Increasing use of alcohol or drugs to cope

• Symptoms that are getting significantly worse or feel unmanageable

Crisis Resources:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 (available 24/7)

• Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741

• If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room

Healing from trauma takes time. Be patient with yourself. Small, consistent steps make a real difference. 

Trauma disconnects us from our soul, body, and those around us. 

It can separate us from happiness and peace with its hidden cords unseen by others. 

However, when dark clouds are above us, never forget that above 

the stormy clouds lie the majestic and bright sun.